Simple Foods

I just had one of my favorite breakfasts. I was sitting on my porch listening to the birds sing. The food I ate is a dish I learned to make at age 5 while reading my Susie Homemaker Golden Book. It is melted sharp cheese on saltine crackers. I have come to name it Poor Man’s Cheese Straws.

One of the absolute favorite party dishes here in rural Southwest Alabama is cheese straws. They are cheese pastries torturously extruded out of a cookie press. They are wonderful – a mixture of cheese, flour, butter, cayenne pepper and pinches of spices. Now you can buy them at places like Target anytime. They used to be quite a delicacy making famous for the households that produced them.

My poor man’s cheese straws taste very much like them, only they are just toasted crackers and cheese. When I grew up, a friend of mine’s father had a country store on a dirt road in Chance, Alabama. They lived in an unpainted house across the road form the store. I can remember going to visit them on Sunday afternoons when I was a little girl in the days before Daddy took up golf, which ended our Sunday excursions forever.

When I was about four, we went down to visit. We played outside in the road coaxing doodlebugs out of their holes under the house with the taunt “Doodlebug, Doodlebug, come out o your hole. Your house is on fire!” They would come out. Not because they understood the gravity of their situation with the house on fire, but because we were torturing them with a broom straw stuck in the hole. Anyway, we were dirty and had to be bathed in the big claw foot tub in the bathroom added on the back porch. There were 3 of us in the tub. I can remember it so clearly because there was only an inch of water in it, but it was enough for us all to bath in. I didn’t understand it was because of it being a dry summer and the well being low.

Another thing I remember about that trip was that my friend, Frankie, the child of the family nearest my age, came running out to the car saying “I have brought you some paper dolls”. Being a town girl, I knew all about paper dolls from the Bedsole’s Ten Cent Store. I was excited until I saw them. They were cutouts from the Sears and Roebuck catalogue.

I’m telling you all this, to emphasize the simplicity of my breakfast. The basic supplies for making this were in every country store in every part of the Deep South. Saltine crackers and hoop cheese were always available in any place that sold food.
They were as common as the cans of pork and beans or sardines sold for lunches for people working in the woods and fields. The other night at Lion’s Club, two of the members were joking about the seafood platters they had for lunch while working in the woods. What they had were sardines on crackers, which they found as delightful as my poor man’s cheese straws.

There is a right and wrong way to prepare these toasted cheese crackers should you ever want to try them. The right was is to start with the most well aged cheddar cheese you can find. I use a Yankee cheese that I think is the best – Cabot’s extra sharp Vermont Cheddar or Kraft Extra Sharp Cracker Barrel that has a date that is about to expire. You must use plain saltine crackers. I have tried variations with Ritz or other fancier crackers. It will not work. The plain crackers turn into a crisp pastry when done right. Besides, you don’t want any sweetness in these.

You must bake the crackers at 350 degrees until the cheese is running off the crackers and leaves a lacy brown edge on cookie sheet. Do not let the crackers touch each other or they will not be as crisp and good. I have tried adding ground cayenne pepper and garlic powder under the cheese, It is okay if you like it, but not necessary to the success of the crackers. The key is the sharpness of the cheese and the slow baking. I promise you a delicacy that you can serve to anybody with pride. I have served it on the front porch to all kinds of dignitaries who just happen by. My front porch is a known gathering place in my hometown. We’ve had parties after big meetings, we’ve had every morning coffee meetings. We’ve had major quality of life discussions over iced tea. I’m having two distinguished guests who happen to be dear friends this weekend. We’ll be having breakfast on the porch eating – of course, poor man’s cheese straws. Don’t’ be too proud or too sophisticated to try them!